Thursday, February 22, 2007

A subtle message (and photos).

How do you tell your sister that she's chosen for the name of her soon-to-be-born daughter the very same name that you used when you dressed in drag?
Hope she reads the blog, apparently.

By the way, when it comes to naming children, it always pays to make sure you're not giving them the name of a porn star. With the digital age all around us, sharing a name with someone else can be brutal, particularly if they're infamous for their particularly sloppy donkey shows. To prevent this, I recommend all humans enter their soon-to-be-born child's name into the www.iafd.com search function. If the name you've chosen comes back, maybe you should choose a different name. You know, because years from now when they google their own name the only thing they'll find is porn. And that is a birthday present you can avoid before the birth.
-jared

Edit: Because of the fact that images have surfaced elsewhere on the internet, I figured it was time to break my "OMG I don't show any pictures of myself" taboo. I'm not particularly enthused with my appearance but the fact that a lot of people recognize me from how I draw myself (it's the hair I think) made me think it was time to laugh post a terrible picture or two and then pretend it never happened. By the way, did you know that there's a new rule that says you can only post pictures taken of yourself? Part of the "Myspace vs. Webcam" verdict I think. Enjoy these pictures and know I didn't show them to you.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
That's not a special effect by the way. Those little "dots of light" are each their only little spot of filthy on my bathroom mirror....and while I'm happy with how it came out I really need to clean my bathroom mirror more. You know, instead of just sneezing on it whenever the whim strikes me.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Oh and remember: always look comedically off camera when taking pictures of yourself. Particularly if you've been drinking so much that it will soon be criminal.
And here's me on Halloween, just because my exceedingly hairy forearms are legendary.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Remember. I didn't show these to you.

11 Comments:

Blogger Nicole said...

Dear god, PHOTOS!

And I was so damn close it's eerie.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my God there's a blog.

I'd spent all this time thinking the "Entertainment" section was the homepage, I don't even know why. It's like I just realized El Dorado was in my backyard, only less gold and more... Jared.

... I think that's it...

-New York (Not all of it, but a good-sized chunk)

5:56 PM  
Blogger Jared said...

Nicole:
Yeah, the reason I posted these was to show that EVERYONE who draws me without knowing what I really look like gets it pretty damn close.
Chunky in New York: You know what's funny? That tends to happen a lot. I think it has something to do with how the original website was simply the entertainment page, or just the fact that very few articles link anywhere else on the site. Glad you dig it and enjoy the Art(porn).
-jared

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Min said...

Quite delightful to finally see you and the toothpaste flecks upon your mirror.
Your own self portraits capture it quite well.

I'm so curious what that name might be.

12:38 AM  
Blogger Scarecrow said...

I don't know why you'd be sensitive about your looks, Jared, you're not ugly! Or are you just fishing for compliments?!

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait a minute...
Are you sure you're not the guy named George Muddy who's into making erotic fetish movies involving cream pies who once appeared in Sin-Cities?

5:43 PM  
Anonymous olivier sauton said...

Premier commentaire en français sur ton blog, vas tu le comprendre? Je pourrai écrire en anglais mais je prends un plaisir pervers à te faire travailler ton français, et puis ça donne une dimension internationale à ton travail ;-)à bientôt par mail et bravo pour tes créations.

5:48 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

I make no connection to my soon-to-arrive daughter's name and your old drag name. Now if you were a full-fledged dragqueen, perhaps I'd reconsider. :) I'll take it as a compliment that you have great taste in female names. Oh, the optimist that I am!

5:48 PM  
Blogger Jared said...

We both have awesome taste in names.

And it is a beautiful name. :)
-jared

PS: Thanks for being a cool sister.

1:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait, You're real? I thought you were like Santa or The Easter Bunny or Gary Coleman, and you were just my mom pretending to be stuff to make me happy. Thanks Jared, you ruined my childhood

10:11 PM  
Blogger David said...

You're hair is so cool!!!!!

4:53 PM  

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