Monday, May 24, 2010

An Update....Jared is Crazy & Terrible at Social Networking

Hey freak jobs. I'm getting myself organized (which oddly involves therapy & medication, at least to some weird degree that I'm uncomfortable with) but I figured I'd give a show out over here on the Blog. If you've been checking it for updates and keep thinking I'm dead because the blog is....well, filled with the sound of crickets, my apologies.
If you want random chatter from me and my life, I've SOMEHOW kept up with Twitter. I'm not sure why but the Character Limit keeps me from going on & on and I talk about positively messed up things without going into too much detail. Check it out as I'm posting several times a day now...and I swear not to spam you with stories of what I had for dinner.
Click HERE for my Twits.
The site is still updating (almost) daily with new Art in the Strange Art section which never hurts and I'm gearing myself up for another Art Crash, Crazy "Please Buy a Random Bucket of Art" auction, and kind of giving the website a kick in the pants design-wise. I'm working on my 7th year of doing this (thank you, Not-Being-Able-To-Find-a-Real-Job-in-Berlin) and I noticed that at some point I stopped overhauling the website once a year. As such, dear LORD is it disorganized. Gotta Fix that.

Hell, I only recently noticed that the "About Me" page has literally never been updated since I started the site. You'd think I'd want to put Wizards of the Coast on my Resume, right? :adds to list:

So what else has been going on?
Well, I had my identity stolen a short while ago and had my bank account frozen due to it. This wouldn't be an issue if I didn't live in Germany...apparently the Bank wants to think I'm the pretender since the real guy is in the same state as my US Bank account. Madness I say!
As such I'm kind of scrambling & checking the couch for change in an attempt to have enough money to visit the states for GenCon and a bunch of other fun but also work related stuff. And while I will most likely be doing some weird fundraiser in the near future I'll still say it: If you want to buy something or need some goofy art, drop me a line. I'm terrible at pimping myself but you folks have been awesome when things imploded. I'm still not over a few fans replacing my computer when it melted back in '06. You guys rock and continue to do so.

Financial Dramas aside (I HATE talking about money), did you know that I have D&D T-shirts out there? Like, officially licensed merchandise?
Click HERE for Rust Monster T-Shirts
So very cool...and it's amusing that both the designs they bought to print were done back for myself on a whim. Life is surreal.

And while I mentioned it before, I did a ton of Art for Team Covenant & the first ever Monsterpocalypse-only Convention. I don't know how long the design will be up, but apparently one of my paintings took over their website. Click Here to See. They also did a lot of Live Streaming Video during the convention, which was fun to watch. I particularly enjoyed hearing folks applause & cheer as they got some of my paintings as prizes. Good Times.

Beyond that?
I discovered there's a Taxidermy Supply Store only 2 blocks from my house and they have a huge (and cheap) supply of dead insects and other creepy things. Currently I'm working on doing some Fairies using dead butterfly wings, but eventually I plan on suits of armor made out of Beetles and if you're a D&D nerd you'll like the Dracolich I plan on making out of Frog & Snake Bones. My art supplies just got so much more surreal.
(I'm also kind of excite about using exotic insects as Jewelry when I got out on the town in Berlin. Yes, I will be that guy with a Jade Assassin Bug pinned to his top hat.)

Of course, you'd already know all this if you were willing to repress the shame of using Twitter. I have and, while I still cry myself to sleep in the dark hours of the night when I think about it, I've grown to enjoy using it. So if you want to get to know me better, I say check it out. Though, if you've been paying attention to Head Injury Theater, you should know me pretty well already.

That and apparently my ADD only lets me be active on 1 social networking site at a time. For Forums, I can juggle two at once. Tops.
...Who would say more about his personal crap but really, Blog posts seem so permanent and I honestly don't want you folks to know just how nutty I am. Here's a Hint though: When the site stops updating or I only paint skulls and people spitting their own teeth across the room...I've gone to the Dark Place. Sorry about that guys, I'll work on that.

PS: If you've been waiting for articles, there was a good sign this week: I wrote 6,000 words for a Dungeons & Dragons project. Hopefully they like it but really, it tells me that apparently some folks still find my words funny. Ego Boost = Yes, I'll probably write more. Just saying.


Blogger Unknown said...

Do more of EVERYTHING! Seriously, man. Do it. You fills the world with laffs aplenty. And us lowly unsuccessful illustrator types need "role models" (sorry about the quotes but i'm 26 and have ego issues) like yourself that prove one can make it in this crazy world. Me? I have to design porn covers to make ends meet; that being said, remember, it can always be worse.

Fuck it up!

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Tom said...

Hey Jared, when you actually get back to doing articles, could you do something about The World of Darkness? I mean, there's a lot to mock there. Like how Changeling changed between editions (Old world involved cutesy fairies trying to ward off soul-crushing banality with wonder and magic, new one is basically YOU WERE MOLESTED BY FARIES! Oddly enough I actually like the new one.) I especially reccomend checking out the excellent fanmade game Genius The Transgression. Loo it up on TVTropes, the link's on the page. You will not be disappointed.

4:16 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Josiah: Thanks for the ego boost...and don't think that in only a few years you'll be beyond having "ego issues". I'm only a little older than you, I'll have you know. I still feel ancient, but that's mostly because at 15 I thought 20-year-olds were a little too full of themselves. By my own standards (when I was younger), I need to find a cave to go die in. That said: You flatter me and honestly I don't know how I pull it off. I hide behind calling it "lucky as hell" because, well, I've got ego problems too.

Tom: There will be World of Darkness in my future. Besides a project I'd like to actually do, there's a Halloween article that keeps getting bumped regarding how a company can make an empire using the Universal Studios Monsters. While they finally created Frankenstein the Fire BAD, I'm still holding out for Fishman: The Sexual Confusion.

As for the Fairy thing...the D&D folks were smart to change how Half-Orcs work. I've been saving up lots of joke regarding "Holy crap there's a race that's nothing but implied raping and guys with Orc fetishes". They'll still come out, one day.

4:22 AM  
Anonymous Squid said...

If you're looking for a way to sell your designs, I personally recommend ( You can upload designs, and people can buy them on buttons, shirts and whatnot. I would definitely buy some buttons with your stuff on them.

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Tom said...

Byt Jared, on that article, would you ever consider mentioning Genius the Transgression even though It's just a fangame? BEcause, if you look it up on TVTropes, you will see that it is made of pure awesome. I mean, it's about mad scientists who make stuff with the power of pure crazy that breaks when normal people touch it. And it has locations created from disproven scientific principles, so it's got that going for it.

And Fishman: the Sexual Confusion is being done as a fangame on the RPGNet Forums, only it's called "Leviathan: The Tempest"

12:56 PM  
Blogger Bowser said...

Can't wait for more article updates! Should be fantastic!

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do more T-Shirts! I'll buy them!!!!
(Try to print them in a copyshop and sell them yourself for better profit)

12:31 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I still feel ancient, but that's mostly because at 15 I thought 20-year-olds were a little too full of themselves. By my own standards (when I was younger), I need to find a cave to go die in brain injury lawyer

10:09 PM  

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