RYZ: The Lost Interview

Remember the Goblin Stompers? RYZ was kind enough to interview me way back when I won that competition a few months back but somehow, through their sporadic update schedule or due to something I said, the interview never got published. Now, with their permission, they've allowed me to reproduce said interview because, well, they'll never use it. I was kind of proud of it so, well, yeah. Enjoy, if you're curious.

RYZ: How long have you played D&D?

Jared: Actually I'm a new recruit to the D&D Army. I've played Dungeons & dragons for a little over 2 years, I think. It all came down to me making fun of some stupid monsters a few years ago and some D&D folk here in Berlin "dared" me to give it a shot. I fell for their clever trap and have been hooked on the game ever since. It taught me an important lesson: Be careful what you mock, it'll get you in the end.

RYZ: What was the inspiration behind your design?

When someone told me about the RYZ contest, I immediately knew I'd have to make Goblin Stompers from the Adventurer's Vault. The name alone is funny and I wanted to paint something that captured the horror on a minion's face whenever an adventurer comes stomping in. The fact that RYZ literally let me put a flattened Goblin on the sole of the shoe was the final nail in the "I must make Goblin Stompers" coffin.

As we grow older our influences constantly change. Have your influences changed, as you have grown older?

I don't know if I'm self-aware enough to really know what influences I've outgrown and which I haven't. I will say that when I moved to Germany the first thing that struck me was the powerful graffiti...I have no qualms in saying I've learned a lot from some of the unsung vandal artists out there.

Any Artist(s) excite you right now?

I'm embarrassed to say that I'm incredibly ignorant about what other artfolks are into these days. Seriously, guys and girls, I'm sorry. That said, I've made a great many friends who are digitl artists/entities in the webcomic scene and I'm constantly jealous of what they can do. Ryan Estrada's work ethic is definitely something I've emulated in years past and I STILL wish Dave Kelly would get back to doing the voodoo he does (did) so well.

Who, What, or Where do you find most inspiring?

Bad movies may potentially be the most inspiring thing I have in my creative ritual that is painting. Raised MST3K and weaned on the American (Cheesy) Horror Renaissance of the 1980's, a lot of random elements from some downright abysmal horror flicks show up when I'm working on something. Today's painting session was accompanied by watching the 1983 masterpiece "Arena" where a guy puts on some tight pants and wrestles people in rubber costumes in Space, followed by "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", which is, surprisingly, about killer clowns from outer space. People familiar with my work shouldn't be too surprised by this, I'm sure.

Do you prefer digital versus fine art or vice versa? What's your favorite medium to work in?

Oh, this is a trick question. I'm a Luddite when it comes to digital art. Beyond owning a scanner and some crude Photoshopping skills, I'm really just a painter who keeps putting his stuff online. I love digital art...because I can't do it. Like I said before, jealousy is a constant when looking at the work of others. As for a favorite medium...at the moment I would have to say Ink. It's messy and unforgiving, which makes it a lot of fun to play with.

Anything specific (colors, patterns, genres of Art) that you embrace or reject?

No one believes me, but I studied traditional painting and anatomy/perspective for years when I was younger. What did I learn? Realism is over-rated. It's an important skill set to be sure, but I think people should focus on painting what they feel & how they think. That sounds a bit like hippy-talk now that I reread what I've written here, but I'll stand by it.

Do you listen to music when you're creating? If so, what do you prefer?

If I'm not playing a movie in the background, there's definitely some music being played while I paint. I'm not proud of my musical tastes but I'm happy with anything that's visceral and fast. A lot of Goth Industrial (SanctuaryRadio.org is my best friend for this) and Mindless Self Indulgence (in particular) can be heard in an endless loop when I'm working.

Do you have a specific style that you are drawn to?

Anything that's expressive. If my style continues to evolve/devolve as it has over the past few years, I may end up just stabbing paint at a canvas and calling it a cartoon. Which is, for better or for worse, what some folks are saying I do already.

What are some of your favorite things to eat & drink? Do any of these things inspire your work?

I hate to admit it, but drinking definitely influences my work. Years ago as a joke/fundraiser I did something called "Art Smash Tequila", where I'd paint something, have a drink, and then paint something else, repeat the process until said process cannot be repeated. The results were interesting and more enlightening than I thought they would be and it's taught me that sometimes being uninhibited can be a benefit. I say sometimes. I'm not telling people to go out there and poison themselves for Art. Though, to be fair, many have done so before me to greater success and excess.

Do you collect anything? If so, is it Art related?

Right now I'd say I collect 3 things: Bad Movies, D&D Miniatures (I've a weakness for Plastic Elves, what can I say?) and my own paintings. It's my three big pastimes, each competing for space on my self.

What's the best or most interesting present you've ever received? Did this present encourage you to pursue Art?

While my first instinct is to mention the taxidermy armadillo I go for my 16th birthday, there's a better answer to that question. Six years ago I got a set of acrylic paints for Christmas from my wife as a "maybe you should try your hand at painting again" kind of gift. At the time I hadn't done anything Art-related (correction: Excluding Film, which is what I went to school for) since High School. A half-dozen years later I'm actually making a living playing with ink and paint. If I hadn't received that gift and started playing around with cartooning again, I wouldn't be where I am today.

What are you most proud of designing or creating?

A couple years back I got hired into designing some dresses/outfits for a budding fetish fashion company that was just getting started and wanted something weird. They ended up only making one dress (ever...the company did not do well) but it was one I designed out of metal plates. They hired a welder and actually built the thing. I don't know why, but seeing something of my design in 3 dimensions struck a chord. In a similar vein, I'm definitely excited to see the Goblin Stompers on someone's feet.

Any Interesting or Current Projects you're working on?

I've gotten a lot of attention over the past few months which has been great. The downside of which is that I've got lots of Non-Disclosure agreements bouncing around meaning I can't talk about them so much. That said, I've got a card game that I designed/illustrated YEARS ago that looks like it'll finally be getting a chance to go into print, a children's book project on the backburner, and am negotiating my 1st real gallery show, which is really thrilling.

If you could known for saying one thing, what would it be?

"The Enlightening Hand is So because it is on Fire."
Anything worthwhile is eventually going to burn out, but the pain of the flame makes you shine all the brighter. Kind of deep and weird (and maybe even pretentious) to hear from a guy making a living out of painting cross-eyed monsters, but it's what I like to believe.

Thanks for the questions and thanks for hosting such a fun contest. Definitely look forward to seeing what comes out of the RYZ community next.
-Jared

How Barbara Ehrenreich Ruined my Movie Night....

Huge Disclaimer: As someone not living in the United States, I might not be the best person to be commenting about an author whose book carries the tagline: "How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America." Maybe the cult of Positive Thinking really is a USA-only thing. I haven't lived in the US for much time in the past 6 years, so maybe she's spot on. I'm still skeptical. Check out what I'm talking about:

Man, I love the Daily Show. I only just now rediscovered it because, well, I'm living in Germany. Yesterday was a day of watching "good things" so we started our little marathon of Prime Time TV and movies by watching the October 14th episode of The Daily Show, with guest Barbara Ehrenreich, the author of books I'd never heard of. (You can watch the episode online by clicking HERE).
If you're not into watching episodes online (legally, I might add!), check out this Blog post of her's by clicking HERE.

Check it out and form your own opinion. The issue I have with it is that she seems to be against Positive Thinking as a religion...she talks at length about hippy-esque positive energy being able to shape the world around them but it's this horrible over-generalization. I don't know if I'm articulating this properly....but basically she's against telling people who are sick, depressed, or out of work to "Stay positive". She's potentially the most cynical person I know. Which is awesome, but her attitude toward the "Evil" of positive thinking as a whole is what left a bad taste in my mouth. Again, I don't know if she's really against ALL positive thinking but that's pretty much what she says.

So I'm watching Star Trek and Spock tells the captain that there's only a 4% chance that they'll be able to survive. Kirk tells Spock that "Everything will be Alright". Me and my older woman immediate chime in "THE EVIL OF POSITIVE THINKING!" in unison.

From her Blog:

"When it comes to how we think, “negative” is not the only alternative to “positive.” As the case histories of depressives show, consistent pessimism can be just as baseless and deluded as its opposite. The alternative to both is realism – seeing the risks, having the courage to bear bad news, and being prepared for famine as well as plenty."

The problem is that in our fiction and sometimes in reality, we're surrounded by horrible, overwhelming odds that if we're realistic, there's not hope. Sure it's more heroic to think you're most likely going to die, but Barbara is apparently against telling people who are about to die "everything will be fine." Which is noble, in a way, but next time you watch a movie and something bad happens see how quickly the hero uses the deception of Positive Thinking. Sorry hero, most likely we're all going to horribly die. I keep looking at Star Wars and, when I think about it, C3PO was the most realistic character in that movie, because he kept going on and on about how he was going to die. Other random things:

"As God as my witness, I will never go hungry again."
-Postive Thinking from Gone with the Wind (Evil, OMG!)

Mr. Rad: Get yo' head up. You lost the money, it's gone. But, you can't lay around in yo' misery too long. Do *not* walk outta' this place and start to second guess yo' talent. You got yo' ass whooped tonight. But, I done seen y'all whoop a many a ass, right in the same place. Now, you lost. Lemme tell you somethin' my father told me, is: "If it don't kill you, it makes you stronger". Remember that.
-From "You Got Served" (I have no idea if this is positive thinking or realism, but since not all things that don't kill you make you stronger, I'm going to hedge my bet and put it over onto the side of wicked deception.)

And that's me rambling. Read her Blog, watch the interview, and maybe read her book. I know I will just because of the sheer thought she's inspired in my own home. She's awesome but, unless she just sucks at explaining her point in a concise fashion, she seems to also be very wrong...at least in my experience. When reality sucks, being realistic borders on suicidal. If I didn't believe that one day I'd be able to make a living doing what I love, I would have given up on painting and gone back to that well-paying office job I had years ago.
And again, I'm sure I'm misunderstanding her point. She seems to be speaking from personal experience involving economics and self-help cults, but at the same time she lashes out against Positive Thinking itself, which is why she's created so much energy to talk about her.
-Jared
"Who thought HE was Cynical until he learned who Barbara was"

Edit:
Why am I reminded of the Nihilist philosophic arguments of the late 1970's? If you studied philosophy or are familiar with John Gardner's Grendel, then you may very well know why they spring to mind.

And this is telling. From Barbara's Bio that's outdated and obviously talking about her new book:

"I’m now researching for a book on what I call “the cult of cheerfulness,” which requires Americans to “think positively” rather than to take positive action for change"

If she'd said that at some point with any conviction, it would have saved me a lot of hilarious "How Can you Be So Wrong" moments yesterday. Positive Action for Change? Awesome. Being Realistic when you can't do anything about it, such as when you have cancer? Less Awesome. There's still some weird mixed messages there, but I think ultimately she meant to do good with her joy-killing tome. Only time will tell.

Twitter: I am not Proud

Yep. I'm on Twitter. I'm not sure if it's a serious affliction or not, but I am giving it a try. That is all.

-Jared

Edit: By the way, thanks for all the great monster and movie suggestions. Some of them have already been assimilated and are, in fact, amaaaaazing. You all rock.

Women talk about Teeth: A follow-up.

Last year, I reviewed a movie about a penis-eating vagingo called Teeth. (The movie was called that, the crotch in question was never specifically given a name.) At the end of said review, I asked any female readers to write in and let me know what they thought. I've finally dug through all the emails and grabbed twenty of them for sharing. Huzzah, delayed action!
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article93a.htm

All in all it's an interesting read. Don't be afraid to follow the links found there either. Otherwise you won't see the amazing Anti-Rape device that literally puts teeth in the user's groin. I'd include a picture, but last time I posted something that even LOOKED like a sex toy, my hosting people hit me on the head with a hammer. It's not a sex toy but it's like an evil reverse condom. With Fangs. Check it out, it's amaaaazing.
-Jared

PS: Here's a link to the original article, in case you missed it and want to start at the beginning.
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article93.htm

Oh and yes: Halloween is going to be taking over. Keep the suggestions coming guys and girls, they're great (See below post for more info).

Halloween 2009: Oh My.

If you saw the banner this week, you understand this year's Halloween season in a nutshell. Basically I have a LOT of crap coming due this month. Even worse, I can only tell you about it when it comes out, not before...otherwise I don't get paid or worse, according to my contract: Sued. Right now I literally have 4 different big projects floating around, all of which are pretty much due by the the end of the month. What does that mean?
It means I suck, but I'll make up for it. Remember how I failed last year and Halloween seemed to last until Xmas? Well, this time, I'm going to keep it Halloween themed until Christmas. Think I rip off Tim Burton's Style? Fine, I'll roll with crossing Christmas and Halloween; my Kwanzaa pumpkin will rock all your asses the hell right off. (I'm not sure what that means either, but I'm rolling with it.)

In the meantime, feel free to suggest both movies and monsters. After 5 years of doing a different monster every day of October without any repeats, I feel like I'm hitting the bottom of the barrel. Hell, my proposed list right now contains the goofy mutant snakeman from the G.I. Joe movie (from the 80's), so ...yeah. I might need some suggestions. Mini-movie reviews and Monster art should start appearing next week (:crosses fingers) but for those hoping for more articles, here's my stack of things to review (hopefully) by the end of the year:

The Halloween that Almost Wasn't
The Last Halloween (Spacemen need our Candy to return home!)
The Creeps (Dracula the Dwarf Meets Half-Sized Wolfman)
Gargoyles (Because every Gargoyle should ride a horse and read Victorian Erotica)
Night Trap the Movie (A Game so Nice, Sega sold it Twice)
Chud 2: Bud the Chud. (Zombie Poodle, no relation to CHUD)
House of the Dead 2 (I reviewed the original, would you believe the sequel is worse?)
The Entire Pumpkinhead Series (Because how many movies remain)
Friday the 13th, the Remake (Because my list of all of Jason's Kills needs to be updated)
Ice Cream Man (A Clint Howard Vehicle. Jesus, "Clint Howard Vehicle" is a scary enough movie title if you know who he is.)
Evil Bong 2: King Bong (Yes. Very Very Yes)
Link (Chimps with knifes are gonna cut you up.)
Monstrous Humanoids from the Deep (Best. Fishman Movie. Ever.)
The Convent ("If we have Gay sex, they can't sacrifice us because we won't be virgins. O_O )

....That's more movies than I've reviewed in the past year thanks to stupid depression that I do my best to not talk about on the website lest I sound like an emo crybaby who takes too many pills. That said, I'm optimistic and have my old work ethic back. You can't tell, because it's all secret pay work, sadly, but I'm in good shape. :thumbs up:

Oh and by Christmas Time we'll start bleeding into other season gifts. In the meantime, feel free to send me suggestions. I'll get to them, but Halloween officially happens when a fat man comes down the chimney to smash all my pumpkins. Because GOD damn it I won't have my Halloween stolen from me. Not this year.
-Jared

PS: If you sent me a picture last year and I never got the crappy thing up, I'll be dusting off those sketches and finished them up. I promised to do that and, as God as my witness (Hi God!) I'll keep that promise.

PSS: Thanks again to Dan for suggesting the obvious. Pumpkins and Horror Movies FOREVER.

Illustration Friday: Pattern Fun

Haven't done Illustration Friday for a while, so here goes, with hue-changing Photoshop Triplicate. Still working on secret corporate stuff, but figured a quick side thing couldn't hurt.




Huttah. When I was a little kid I'd do a lot of paintings like this, but they often had bombs and skulls in the middle of them. The joys of classroom doodles revisited, I suppose.

-Jared

Head Injury Theater Goes Back to 2003!

I said I'd do it for filler if need be and, well, here you go...for better or for worse.


Click Here to see the horror.

Don't judge me.
Or start stalking Sara.
-Jared

PS:
And no, I won't put you in contact with Sara. Perverts.
Seriously, the article has only been up for 10 minutes and already I've got two "can I have her last name so I can find her on Facebook" emails. I'm proud of you guys. You work fast. You're creepy, but efficient, which is the best I can hope for, really.