Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Costumes Part 1: Let them eat (Lesbian) Cake!

If you've seen part 1 of the 2008 Costume paintings, then you'll remember the last one. You know the one about the Lesbian Zombie Wedding. That's 100% true and behold: The Wedding Cake. I'd warn you that this post is not safe for work even with the censor blurbs (I think) but well, it's too late. Enjoy one of the coolest cakes around.


Seriously. They Totally do.

PS: I totally recant my "I'm running out of monsters to paint" claim. After my Catalonian vacation (more on that later) I found myself swamped with both ideas and suggestions... Thanks guys. There are indeed a lot of greats I haven't painted. For instance....Michael Myers. He STILL hasn't appeared on the Halloween Countdown. Don't get your hopes up for this year...they're all ready and I'm keeping them obscure. You know, the way I like it.

Edit: In my previous post, you might remember I made a joke about Rainbow Brite the Hooker. Dear Lord, I really thought it was a joke. I wanted it to be. But sadly......
Costume Designers: Please stop making me think of having sex with fictional under-aged girls and animals by putting strippers in funny costumes. It's....disturbing.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Halloween 2008: Boobs, The Executive Elderly, Catalonia Horror, and a Mushroom

News on 3 fronts today. Let's start with Boobs.
The world is a very scary place when I go to check the latest news in the U.S. and instead I stumble across.....this:
Talk about pandering. Is anyone else troubled by strippers (I mean models, MODELS) dressing up like things that we're around when they were alive and that only appeal to the weird geek nostalgia sections of our brain? What's next, Rainbow Brite the hooker? Kim Possible with tassels? I'm just thinking ahead...will in the year 2016 we get to see Spongebob Squarepants costumes on stage shaking her goodies in your face?
That's nothing new of course but I still find it hilarious to find a gallery of these next to news about natural disasters and who's going to win the election. And the whole Princess Leia thing creeps me out. I mean, I was 3 or so when this movie came out. Hell, I know a lot of people younger than me that have a thing for Princess Leia. I mean, I get it. She's a sex slave. But to be honest there are a lot of sexier movies involving sex slaves and THOSE don't have a 2 ton giant slime-covered worm in them. Well, they do, if you count euphemisms.
Did I say models? I meant Strippers. Totally strippers.

2: I just found out that John McCain is 72 years old this year. I don't usually talk politics on the site (I hate politics and fall under the banner of "it doesn't really matter I can't make a difference so why care") but...I have to say it. Holy crap McCain is 72 years old. Is anyone else creeped out by the prospect of a president who was alive during the Great Depression? I actually was a fan of McCain a few years ago...his policy about putting an end to campaign contributions sounded awesome (and when I talk about campaign contributions to the Germans here they look at me and ask me how that can be legal) and I'm sad he hasn't picked up that flag again this time around. My problem? He's well over the age a lot of industries force retirement. I'm weird about having a president 3 times my age. No offense to senior citizens out there but....yeah. I'm done. It's creepy to me and I had to say it. If he does get elected (vote how you want people) I will tell you this though: I'm going to have a lot of fun riffing on President Great-Grandpa. And if he's elected to a 2nd term? He's going to turn 80 years old while in office. O_O
....Maybe the chances of Palin becoming the President are more likely that some folks have been saying. I mean, he is over the age of average life expectancy. Spooky.

3. I'm in Catalonia this week! I got a surprise/random vacation in a resort near Malaga (which is fun to say maaaaalaaaaaaaagaaaaa though saying it like that helps convince others that I'm retarded) and I'm looking forward to it. I leave in an hour for my plane and I'm already scrambling to recall whatever High School/Taco Bell Spanish I can remember. Will there be Taco Bells in Spain? If so the blasphemy will be too wonderful to resist.
Hope you guys enjoyed the content from the FUTURE and that it keeps you distracted since the site won't update again until the last week of October (with costume paintings amongst other things). The Blog, on the other hand, will have new stuff a couple of times. And if you missed it:

Click here for Rumpelstiltskin

Click here for Giant Mutant Momma Bear!

Until next time play safe and again: Sorry for bringing up politics. I'm just a new fangled young person who is just freaked out by being represented by those legitimately considered elderly.

PS: If you know what this is and why I'm excited about it, you're just as big a geek as me:

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Halloween 2008: I like it with the Costume on.

So yeah. Happy Halloween...Month. This year has been a little weird since my local horror fans moved away last year, so all my current amigos are looking at me like I'm particularly insane for decorating the house and carving a cactus to celebrate (yes, this year makes the return of "what will Jared turn into a pumpkin" festival) so early. Even worse, I'm in Germany, a country that doesn't quite "get" Halloween and has banned films like Friday the 13th, Phantasm, and other horror classics for the sake of public decency. But all that aside, life is good. And filled with Orange and Black. Everywhere.

Oh and just to hammer it home on the blog:
The Costume paintings will start showing up this next week. A few of you have already sent in pictures, but the earlier you send it in the more likely I'll have time to paint it. If you're new, jsut know that if you send me a picture of your halloween costume (or your pet's, you sick sick person who dresses up your dog) I'll do a painting of it. No promises of you liking it, but I'll do my best to not offend you like I did the Poison Ivy/Elvis couple from years back. And just so you know, this year some of the costumes are awesome.
Life is Good.

(Thanks to Yanna and her Vampire Freak friends for being awesome.)