Elf Love

Why is it that all elves in cartoons, movies, or whatever always look like they're trying really, really hard to be heterosexual? Even elderly "wise" elves just look like trolls you'd see in a gay nightclub (Mr. Smith from Lord of the Rings for example). I think it has something to do with their heavy make-up, long hair, soft clothing (which often includes a skirt), and their high heels. Oh wait. That's drag queens. I get the two confused sometimes.
On a related note:

You didn't see this. Go away.
-Jared

(Well, I painted it and had to share it somewhere. You were warned. Sheesh.)