Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Thunder & Mud.....God hates me.

I've got a game I play with the people at my video store. Since they've got like 30,000 movies there and a lot of them aren't on display anymore (not enough shelf space), I've taken it upon myself to just guess video ID numbers and taking home whatever the hell it is. Usually it's something boring or, well, VHS tape 237 from the X-files series edition 3 (or something like that). But today? Today it hurt.

I randomly requested the number for a wrestling film. A Mudwrestling film. I swear, fate gave me this. When I randomly said "Why don't you give me....8943?" I had no idea what doom I was calling down upon me.
Featuring big hair bands (I mean, Heavy Metal) from the most embarrassing point in the decades past. Check this out:
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Even funnier, they called it "Thud" on the actually cassette. But yes. I watched a movie that features hair bands where the men look like girls and the girls look like mud monsters with floppy girlie parts flailing mud every which way.
Lucky me.

I know I'm a guy but mud wrestling just doesn't do anything for me. I looked at all the guys in the audience and had to ask: Why not just rent some porn? Or hell, go to a strip club? Or is the fact that you're supposed to be surprised when "Candy the Destroyer" rips off her opponents bra and strangles her with it? (Yes, I saw that tonight.) Ok, bad example, that did surprise me. But then again, I don't get the joy of wet t-shirt contests. I mean, I DO and if one was going on I couldnt' help but pay the most attention possible to it....but I wouldn't hunt it down.

By the way here's the description of "Thunder & Mud" on rottentomatoes:

"A dazzling mosaic of hot guitar licks and even hotter gorgeous grapplers as the top stars of female mud wrestling battle it out for their favorite bands in this wall-shaking, eye-popping, erotic assault on the senses."

Dear lord, I actually watched a film that's told me who the "top female mud wrestlers" were back in 1990. Wait a second. Doesn't that imply there are professional male mud wrestlers out there too?
I disbelieve.
-jared

PS: This post is a bit of motivation....I'm finally getting around to updating the Pornographic Nightmare Fuel section. :shudder:

4 Comments:

Blogger Scarecrow said...

Since you've decided to torture yourself with more porn, you should try to find "Bimbo Cheerleaders from Outer Space".

11:37 AM  
Blogger WillySmith said...

I think I should do the random video thing. I rent vids all the time, but by the time I get home I'm not in the mood to watch what I've rented. At least that way it would be a surprise!

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love those old ww2 racist cartoons, they are damn funny

9:36 PM  
Blogger sanam arzoo said...

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11:56 PM  

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