Thursday, January 04, 2007

Miniature Mayhem and on Geek Pride

Man, have I been out of it the last month. Things have been busy but they've been busy in that "I don't have time for myself" kind of way that you just can't quite complain about because it's filled with social/fun stuff. So my apologies about the blog going to sleep and the site slowing down a little more than it should have around Christmas time. That said, I've been working on something crazy. A few friends out there helped me playtest it last Summer, but since then I've been refining the little bastard and having a blast. The downside is that I've created a monster.
Warning: Geek Rambling about to begin. Please ignore.
Premise: I hate miniature games. I hate them because they don't last long (friends outgrow them) and they're crazy expensive to really get into. Warhammer from Games Workshop isn't a game at all but a psychotic hobby with a cult following. Having to spend up to hundreds to have a decent amount of miniatures that are still uncut and unpainted is just a little bonkers to me. On the other end of the spectrum we have things like Mage Knight or games and the pieces come painted but the scheme there is that you have to buy "booster packs" of random miniatures and hope you get something cool. Chances are you won't be satisfied and you'll have to go back and buy more. It's gamer gambling and eventually it'll make someone's head/wallet explode. It's never surprised me to find out that the champions of a lot of gaming conventions are elderly men with too much money or spoiled rich kids with far to indulging parents....according to most companies in the gaming industry, Fun = Money.
And yes, I know that's the way it usually works, but in the end gamers are left with piles of miniatures belonging to a game that no one plays or, even worse, simply miniatures from a version of the same game that's been updated to that they have to buy all-new miniatures to play (Warhammer 40k, I'm looking at you, you greedy knobs).
So I sat down to make a game that'd be hella cheap to play that was still fun. In came Miniature Mayhem. The game decks should be available by this summer...and my god is it addictive. The only problem with making a game that requires no miniatures is that it can backfire. In most games, you can only spend so much money before you own everything. When you can use ANYTHING to play a game, things can get....silly.
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If you look closely you'll find pieces from about a dozen minituare games there as well as Candyland, Monopoly, a plastic tank from a hobby shop, Pokemon, Jar Jar Binks, some crappy toys that I got inside some kinder eggs and...well...lots of stuff. When you start getting hooked on a game that lets you play with ANYTHING you end up spending your random change on EVERYTHING. Ever since I started playing this thing I can't help but look for anything about the size of a chess piece that looks like it could kick your ass. It's a weird neurosis, but whatever.
Expect rules and more madness floating onto the site sooner than later.
(By the way, one of my major christmas presents was a huge pile of gaming miniatures from all types of things. So now I can have Pokemon monsters beat the bejesus out of SpongeBob Squarepants and his WW2 Tank Armada. God I love this game.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry.. dont ave enough time to read this post(*as i'm at work) but love your ideas on your single strip comics.


7:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I WILL need a copy of this game when you finish it. I don't play any of the miniature games because of the money involved, but I have so many little figures EVERYWHERE. Fear the rainbow of tiny plastic ninjas!

2:56 PM  
Blogger Jared said...

I had a lot of fun going to gaming shops and asking them where they keep their "crap" miniatures. It's amazing how cheap the games of yesteryear

My only regret is that I haven't been able to find a baby jesus from a nativity set yet. You have no idea how much I want to place the "Christ Child of Destruction" onto the playing field.

3:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to learn more.

It's all about the kinder eggs army.

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm...I think I have a baby Jesus somewhere, actually. I'll have to go poke around.

I have the strangest old fast food restaurant toys laying around, too. PACKRAT FTW!

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a toy crane game change bank thing full of Little rubber ninjas, break dancing aliens, and army mens ready to be used for this game. And a collection of other little McToys and what not. I can't wait to find the rules. Man I need to find that change bank thing...

8:37 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

(try this again w/o the typos.... stupid horribly burned fingers.)

Kieran was looking for his red Candyland piece you bastard!

10:20 AM  
Blogger Collin said...

Awesome! I can't wait to hear/read more about the game.

A few years back I picked up a rule book for an "any toy goes" game called "Toy Wars", but I just didn't get into it. I may dig it out, dust it off and have another look through it.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...'s like Calvinball, but for miniature geeks?

I want it.

11:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like Toymallet 40ยข

12:26 AM  
Blogger Jared said...

Thanks for the Toymallet introduction! I think it's similar in motivation, but really different in execution...mostly because while Warhammer is a racket, I didn't really want to emulate their game at all.
Making a fun game that could be played on a chessboard (with chess pieces if you're ghetto and don't have tiny plastic ninjas) with one six-sided die was the plan, mostly because I really hate that so many games get so complicated with cover, overwatch, action token rules. I'll post more about the game but the joy of it come in the fact that it's super-simple yet complex when one starts combining the archetype-linked abilities...and there are a lot of them...about 110 last time I checked. Just the fact that you can make teleporting snipers as well as burrowing ground tanks with freeze cannons to whatever makes me happy. You'll see.

PS: I WILL post this thing sooner than later, as you guys are far too enthusiastic about this. So stop emailing me about it. : P

1:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

... suppose you don't have a chessboard...

10:29 AM  
Blogger Scarecrobot said...

I can't believe you can't find a Baby Jesus miniature...

I found one at a garage sale and I got it for 5 cents...

It had broken off of a Christmas ornament!

1:09 PM  
Blogger Jared said...

Yeah, I can't believe it either. We looked and we looked, but we couldn't find one that didn't come with an entire Nativity set and cost less than 40 euros.

Of course now I want a Caganer. Because that would be awesome. And wrong.

2:27 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

In a word, HOMIEZ.

Imagine having a wigger with telekinetic pants who can whip out a groundhog and break your face simply with its rhythm.

Okay, maybe not...but Homiez, nonetheless.


2:26 AM  
Blogger pekeman said...

cant seem to find a rulebook for

12:14 PM  
Blogger Quacthulhu said...

some of those HorrorClix look completely badass, but that's that "black vulture man" one? I don't recognize it at all...

10:40 PM  

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