Wednesday, June 24, 2009 or, How I learned to Love the F-Bomb

There's a reason I don't go into detail about what the hell is going on in my personal life. While the internet is filled with all sorts of people, the a-holes are always the one that somehow float to the top (no offense). I always save the very best insults (see my "About" page for instance) but a friend pointed out that picked up on my "Alphabet of Excuses" last August. I kind of regretted putting it up at the time but I figured what the hell. It might not be my best work (seriously I did the whole thing in like an hour) but it's not like there's a group of people who are going to tear me a new orifice for it, right?

Wrong. Read the comments....they're amazing. And by Amazing I mean....God I don't know what I mean. Nothing is more humbling than reading hundreds of strangers telling you how much you suck. In response I was going to put together an Alphabet using only insults used by users. Funnily enough I was able to fill out the entire thing minus a Q, a V, and an X. Then I realized that putting that much energy into insults isn't the healthiest of things and, knowing my luck, THAT alphabet would get hit by Digg and then the retalitory insults would begin. That's almost appealing but....yeah. I'm so very glad I got over the hatemail thing years ago.

The Almost-Alphabet of Hate:
A is for Annoying Whiny Art Kids
B is for B-Side by Ralph Steadman, who I rip off.
C is for Confused
D is for Don Hertzfeld, who I also rip off.
E is for Edward Gorey, who I ALSO rip off.
F is for Failure at Life and Art
G is for Gerald Scarfe who I OMG ALSO RIP OFF
H is for Holy WTF
I is for Not Interesting or Good
J is for "Jared has AIDS"
K is for KKK
L is for Lame
M is for Mirror Site, this one sucks
N is for Narcissistic
O is for OMG
P is for Psychiatrist, get one Dude!
Q is for Quite a Lot of Hate
R is for Retarded Popular People
S is for Salad Fingers WHO I RIP OFF DEAR GOD
T is for Tab, Which I Closed After C
U is for Unfunny Emo F$#k
V is for Jhonen Vasquez, who I ALSO RIP OFF OMG THE HELL
W is for Weak
X is for XXX Porn links?
Y is for You just don't get it, do you?
Z is for zombwtf

Check it out by clicking HERE. Seriously.

(OH and before I was convinced to NOT work on the Alphabet I actually got started. Enjoy the Alphabet that will not be:
...and there you go. If any of you plan on putting yourself out there, just remember that no one likes you even if lots of people do.
Oh no, I'm Emo again!
"most unoriginal man alive"


Blogger barbara said...

Pfft, whatever.
I still love a hopefully non creepy sounding way :)

7:05 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hey, well I've been silently following your blog and your art for sometime now and let me tell you I love it, particularly the alphabets.. So don't let the bastards get you down :).
Keep up the good work!!

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Kim said...

I think the bastards and jerks get noticed the most because they're the loudest and have nothing better in their life (hence why they're so negative to everything).

Really, if they had a reason to get off the internet I'm willing to bet they would shut up.

7:30 PM  
Anonymous Bunneh said...

Don't be emo, be awesome like you always are. :)
Pity the fools whose social interaction is restricted to hurling poorly written insults at total strangers. Only their mothers will ever love them, while you on the other hand, are cherished by people you don't even know. :)

5:01 PM  
Blogger Quacthulhu said...

Do what I do, and just ignore everyone else's opinions. They don't matter, all that matters is how you feel about it. And there are people out there who genuinely adore your style and sense of "grim humour" (as I tend to call it).

... Course, this is coming from someone who's considered "dark and creepy" by her own friends, so... Eh, ***k the internet nobodies, you don't need 'em. Worrying about someone anonymous stranger on the internet's opinions about you is only a recipe for an ulcer.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Marc said...

I hope you don't seriously feel humbled by that crap. These people are wasting their lives, and for all your apparent emo drama, I don't think you are.

You entertain the hell out of me for free. Thanks.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Dr Neo Lao said...

I'll add my two Australian cents (which add up to about a third of a Euro ... cent? what's one hundredth of a Euro?).

The people who use Digg are LAZY. Basically, the whole site is geared towards letting other people find things and telling users what they should like because other people like it. It's for sheeple who can't (or don't want to) think for themselves.

Obviously, somebody liked your work so they put it up on digg. Someone else came along and saw it on the list but since they were looking for cheerleader porn or something they spent three seconds typing out a poorly-written, poorly thought out excuse for an insult.

Think of those kinds of people as a bunch of drunk yobbos sitting on the side of the road, drunk on a box of wine who laugh at you as you drive past on your way to an awesome party.

How much does their opinion matter? Nothing at all. Not even worth talking about as much as I already have.

So I'll move on to saying that I, amongst many others, adore your work and visit the site frequently to see what you have been getting up to. I'm even saving some pennies to see if I can buy one of your paintings.

You do awesome work. You are a creative individual. We miss you over at Eyescream. Enjoy your life and keep doing what you love!

6:43 AM  
Anonymous GR said...

I applaud your maturity in not fueling an insult-war, as I would probably be tempted to do in your situation.

Keep up the good work.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Hawk said...

It's easier to hate than to praise. Especially for those mental cripples who inhabit places like Digg, like I really give a rats ass what Bob from Detroit thinks about some link 8,000 other people have commented on. Shit floats on cesspools like Digg where scared little boys egg each other on to see who can be the most vicious anonymous asshole.

Forget 'em!

1:02 AM  
Blogger Dr Neo Lao said...

Having just looked at the new banner and title of the main page, I have a word of warning for you Jarad:

Charge extra for paintings made with bitter tears - they have samples of your dna in them!

Though I do wonder about your diet if you have multi-coloured tears you can paint with... 0.o

p.s. - totally off-topic: the word verification was "Con a Ride". Prophecy?

5:24 AM  
Anonymous Alex said...

As everyone else said, your opinion is the only one that matters. I'm not too familiar with Digg, but if all they want to do is bash other people's time and effort, they obviously aren't a place you should go visit in your time on the internet. However, you're showing that you're a better person by not trying to fight back. The joke's on them.

Personally, I absolutely love your unique art. It's great to see something a bit different than the usual! ;)

12:28 PM  
Blogger Mayhem said...

I could say "fuck them".. But it'll be a waste of time, they don't even deserve that..
You're awesome, and if they didn't get the joke, I kinda feel sorry for them..
Please don't listen to them! And keep being great!

6:58 PM  
Blogger Graz73 said...

jared, your stuff is awesome, as always. Don't let the haters get you down.

If I did that I would have stopped drawing Cy-boar YEARS ago!

7:46 AM  

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