Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Spongebob Squarepants Rides the Hasselhoff...

I confess I watch a lot of movies. I'll watch anything. You can sometimes see that on the site....but I think it's implied at best. What you don't see are me writing 10,000 word articles on weird Japanese new releases (which are better than what Hollywood's churning out these days), children's movies, old television shows, and whatever else I can get my entertainment hungry hands on. Every time I go to the video store (which is daily I have to confess) I ask them to surprise me. They're friends now and don't charge me (thankfully) but sometimes it's fun to throw myself at their mercy. What they give me is always different: Chinese horror movies, Swedish Porn, or just some Hollywood movie they're know I'd hate. Last night they gave me: The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.
Now I'll admit there's no way I could review this thing...it just doesn't stick to my brain like that. However there is one moment that needs to be pointed out to everyone who hasn't and (for good reason) doesn't plan on seeing it. What part of the film am I talking about?
Take a gander at exhibits A through D:
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I'm talking about the part of the film where David Hasselhoff shows up and saves the day by getting Spongebob Squarepants to ride him. I'm not sure what else to say, but I will say that when I saw that my brain shut down. That tends to happen a lot....but Hasselhoff-induced blackouts strike me particularly as creatures of note.
-jared
UPDATE: I, for some unknown reason, watched the "making of" special on the Spongebob DVD. I've learned that a 13-foot tall replica of David Hasselhoff may well be the scariest thing I've seen in a while:
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Total Nightmare Fuel.

4 Comments:

Blogger Collin said...

Did it happen to say WHY they needed a 13' Hasselhoff?

10:39 AM  
Blogger Jared said...

I WISH the answer was either
a) Hasselhoff demanded a false idol of himself be constructed before he would work on the film
or
b) the director wanted something to later put on his ship's prow....
The real answer is that the final fight scene takes place on top of David Hasselhoff. Film magic required either killing David so he wouldn't move and screw up the animation or just building a giant one using yak hair.
And yes. They used Yak hair.
Gah.
-jared

10:53 AM  
Blogger Warx said...

Did mecha-Hasselhoff have to be smiling? That kind of stuff puts kids in mental hospitals.

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Egak said...

That doesn't explain why mecha-Hasselhoff had to be scaled up, though...

5:53 PM  

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