Tuesday, November 01, 2005

If only I could erase files from my brain...

A few of you know I watch a lot of movies. Of course "a lot" in this context means 3-4 different movies a day. It's all part of my painting ritual, but I have to admit the movie addiction came first. When this site started about two years ago, you really couldn't call it the same site that it is now. Basically the Death Toll, that list of bad movies and weird crap in them, WAS the original site. Things bloomed or mutated from there, but originally I wanted to include pictures with all the entries. Here's one entry that's haunted me for a while now.
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In 1993, HBO cast Daryl Hannah as the lead in "Attack of the 50 ft. Woman." The film's not very good, despite having a lesser Baldwin brother in it. It does, however, have one of the most nightmarish visual gags ever.
Imagine this: Daryl Hannah is a giant. As such, she requires copious amounts of common products. People in a diner look in weird fascination as a giant Revlon truck roles by followed by a giant Head and Shoulders shampoo truck. And then, this drives by:
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:blink blink:
Wow. A giant douche truck.
I know it's supposed to be a throw-away joke, but I can't help but think what this is implying. Are their Vaginal technicians armed with hoses helping Daryl with this procedure? Did Summer's Eve design a GIANT product just to clean out Daryl's crotch? I can accept that this film wants me to think about a giant woman's genitalia. "Oh my God! She's huge! Get it? It's funny!" That I can accept. When the director starts trying to pull attention to a giant woman's FILTHY genitalia....that's a whole other story.
I don't want to talk about this anymore. My therapist said that if I shared it on the blog the nightmares would go away.
"Can't sleep, Daryl Hannah's giant crotch will eat me, Can't sleep, Daryl Hannah's giant crotch will eat me...."


Blogger Warx said...

You're nightmare just happens to be Brandon Braga's fantasy. Braga just happens to be the lead writer of Star Trek Voyager and Enterprise, which explains a lot about those series.

7:55 PM  

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