A Tad Later....

Yay for Metric Time! The update wasn't as big as I'd hoped, but finally, an update!

New Art:
CLICK HERE, True Believer.
New Article:
Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker
(Be warned, you'll never look at Ken the same way ever again.)

Thanks for being patient guys. And Merry Christmas.
-Jared
"master of the vanishing eggnog trick"

What goes down stairs, alone or in pairs?

Just to tease you a bit because me updating the site is looking like a gift to be opened on Christmas day on this end, allow me to share an early Christmas gift that's been bringing me joy.



His name is Slinky, he eats fish, and when he's tired of playing with you, he defecates. Fortunately most of my friends do the same thing, so I'm used to it by now. He's your common variety garter snake that, weirdly enough, counts as an exotic pet because I live in Germany. Go figure.
In related news, he's already shed his skin and it's found a way onto a canvas. I don't know if I should be proud of making art out of dead parts of my pet. Somehow it seems....wrong.

Enjoy your Holiday guys and come back just a tad later for some update, news, and Xmas (and Halloween...sigh) horror.
-Jared


Edit: And yes, a "Tad Later" is a precise form of measurement. You just don't know how it relates to minutes or hours. I'm living in Metric time, bitches!

Merry Xmas

I'll be quick:

I'm not dead. Problems are fixed. I'm psycho sad (wall smashing rage sadness) that I missed so many updates, but whatever. I'm back. I've been doing a lot of canvas work since we last chatted but now that things are finally up to speed, expect a big Holiday update. I'm talking all those Halloween Articles that were almost done (Dead Alive, Sleepaway Camp) and a few others (Silent Night Deadly Night 5, maybe Slayride, Satan Claus, or...errr....some weird Japanese killer Santa TV show). Thanks for sticking with me guys....and for all the tech help you've been giving me. That said, enjoy this picture of what Mannequins do when no one's around.

(and yes, this is a hint that the Pornographic Nightmare Fuel will be finally updated after 3 years of Hiatus. I have live-action tentacle doom, Tom Sizemore, and many many HORRIBLE things. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's better that way. I'll have to hide it a little better and slap a warning label on it. Turns out in the past 3 years my audience has been getting progressively younger and younger. How can I tell? This year alone I had a dozen+ parents buy some of my stuff to put in their kid's nursery. :sigh: I really must be doing something wrong.)

Bah.

It's good to be alive again. Stay tuned!
-jared