Thursday, March 26, 2009

Why Aren't You Painting?

The main page of the site involves a promise to update, me being an crybaby bastard, and a card game that only those who've followed the site for 4 years should know about.

Guess which one I'm going to talk about.

Despite that possible making it to a nearby gaming shop, I sort of should meander towards the other topics.

Just looking back at the Blog posts for the past year there's a terrible trend. It revolves around me NOT talking about what's been bothering me in any specific terms and making excuses, promises and other creatures that revolve around not updating the site in a timely fashion.

I think I avoid talking about it because I know how existing on the internet works. Well, assumedly I do to some degree. I mean I live in a country that doesn't speak my language so until recently I've been defined by a majority of virtual relationships. Webcomic Collectives, Forum Fanaticism, and other similar things....blah blah blah. There's the whole concept of digital time as well. I STILL get angry letters about the "Offensive Cartoons of World War 2" and that's been on the site for 4 years. What I don't want to have my sad confessions locked down in stone tablet form thanks know what? By now you know what I mean. Let's move on.

To everyone who's been sending me positive messages:
You Rock.

To the few sending me the hate mail:
I deserve it.
(With the exception of whoever sent me that long email about how retarded I am for using the offensive term retarded. You, sir, have Down's Syndrome. Yes, I can escalate the war of connotative vocabulary. )

Ok fine, I don't deserve most of it. But I'm an emo bastard who had a serious breakdown last year and never recovered. Everytime I think I've picked up the pieces something snaps and there I am, afraid to paint, afraid to write. Hell, here I am immortalizing my goofy-ass bullcrap at 3:30 in the morning. But yeah. I'm done writing a post I'll regret later. What I meant to do was write something to reward the surprisingly high number of folks who haven't given up on me ever updating again. That will happen. Things have swung upwards....and if anyone remembers my Evil Genius Card game (previously playtested by Steve Jackson Games) then that's the one I'm talking about on the main page. The goofy part...the game might be printed in German before it shows up in English. So very surreal. But uplifting. And much more interesting to talk about than me paraphrasing what I should be telling a shrink. I need to re-illustrate it as I've gotten better than I was 4 years ago.

Oh and I took a wooden paint palette that I'll never use because those things are pretentious as all hell and turned it into something productive:
It was that or one of those "Hang in there, Baby!" Cat posters. I stand by my choice.

And just because someone ask and I shared this on a forum, this is what happens when I decide to play Dungeons & Dragons. Ignore the text, enjoy the doodle.
I'm still not sure if killing Orks is good therapy or not.


Blogger Kor E said...

Great to hear! Steve Jackson Games Rocks! Munchkin is fun n great! I'm excited for you Jared! If not seeing regular updates means I get to play a card game you made i'm sated! Oh if ya need more playtesters I'll sacrifice some time hee hee!

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yay! That card game thingy sounds awesome. Granted, I don't play card games, but still.

And about your issues, I wish I knew what they were so I could give ya some advice, but that's your choice not to talk about it. And I really hope you see that shrink so that you can sactually update without relapsing into this cycle of breakdown, no updates, getting better, saying there will be up dates, then starting the cycle all over again.

And it's not emodrama if there's a legitimate reason for it, remember that.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Dr Neo Lao said...

Glad to see that you're still alive! I was starting to get worried there for a second that your old handle "ohgodtherats" had come true.

Getting the game made sounds fantastic! It's a great opportunity to get your name out there (some more). You do good work, just that most people are too lazy to leave feedback (fortunately this applies to the negative haters as well).

I was going to offer some advice here, but in this context (a reply on a blog), it'd be as effective as trying to pick up a cat with sticky tape.

What I will say is this: humans are a social animal. We like packs (of around 150 - google "monkeysphere" for more info).

So get out there and get some human contact. A screen and keyboard are not a substitute.

And by "human contact, I don't just mean sex (I totally do - go bone someone).

4:02 PM  
Blogger Marc said...

Shit, man, I should have said it before, but I'll say it now: hang in there baby!

PS The word verification thing below, I swear I thought the word was "nutrag" at first. I don't know what that would be, but it makes me laugh.

4:59 PM  
Blogger Hawk said...

Do what makes you feel happy. While I love seeing updates to the site and your reviews are something I look forward to all the time I'd rather see you move on to some new project than see you suffering over this stuff.

1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Jared,
we love you no matter the pauses between paintings and updates.

Some of us have yet to memorize or even read the entire site just yet, be assured that there are hours and hours of mind blowing hilarity on your site, it is the most entertaining thing I have ever encountered on the internet.
Honest to goodness.
I tell all my friends about you, and talk about you like you're a close friend, because in sharing your beautiful brain insides with us in the form of reviews, paintings, random scribbles, makes us (or at least me) feel like we know you, and in knowing you, we love you.
You are amazing.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Bookgal said...

As a fan of your work for a few years now, Its good to hear you're still in the game. I was a little worried in that "Dont know him personally, but he does great writing and art and I hope stuff is ok" way.

I hope you find the peace of mind you deserve, and the happiness as well.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Void said...

My grandfather had something that he would always say to me whenever I got down about what people were saying/doing...

He'd sit down with you, look you right in the eye and say, "Jared...

They're a bunch of douches. Do what you want, just hide the bodies."

it's the internet, you could say something about how kittens are fluffy and warm and people would still say it's sexual slander. 80% of the world are idiots, 99% of those idiots hang out on the internet saying dumbass things...

don't do "what's right", do what feels right. it's free speech in this world, be free...

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Face-Bear said...

You need a "non updating website owner" card. =]

10:52 AM  
Blogger cynsanity said...

Killing orcs is ALWAYS therapeutic. Well, that and hanging around the sofa, feeling useless (that's what I do at the moment... only without the orcs).

Being in the position of being as fluent in German as I'm in English (to the quite frankly shaming point where I'm often trying to express myself in English because I forgot a word in my precious mother tongue), I'm going to be a little ass-creep and tell you that I'm looking forward to the card game and WILL GET IT IN BOTH LANGUAGES! [Insert Epic Thundering Here]

Because... you know. In English, it's all yours (aka "Jared's"). And I'm a creepy fan.

Oh, and... "You, sir, have Down's Syndrome. Yes, I can escalate the war of connotative vocabulary." made me laugh harder than a lot of things together in the past time.

I hope you manage to drag yourself out of that stuff soon, before you get hurt (by inside/outside/sideways forces) even more.

You know we would cuddle you.

(As for the captcha... mine said "boyerica", which will lead to me spending the rest of the day obsessing over little transsexual Eric(a), his fascination with frilly dresses and ...stuff, instead of working on my database. Thank you, Blogger. Thank you for disturbing my reality.)

5:33 AM  

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