Single Green Female...

I love it when someone needs guest comics and they're willing to accept one that's ultimately about incredibly rough sex. Well, not really. But I like to think it's implied. I would have just gone ahead and said it, but I'm really not that experienced when it comes to three panels of funny. Still, check it out:

http://www.baldninja.com/

(In case you find this Blog post after the comic has been placed in the archives, you'll find it posted on January 29th, 2007)

-jared

Edit, for the shorties: http://www.baldninja.com/archive.php?comic=2007-01-29

(Yes, I am an Aqua Teen Hunger Force fan. I'm so terribly sorry and ashamed.)

Edit, Edit: Yes, I'm still sick. I'm no longer hallucinating due to the Devil Flu, so expect the site to update tomorrow...just a bit later than usual. I also WROTE DOWN my fever dreams, so though I can't read the words, I do know a doodle of a six-breasted alien chihuahua eating someone's skull when I see it. It totally bothers me that I can't form words when I'm sick but my doodles are disturbingly as clear as day.

Miniature Mayhem, updated...

Since it's been a couple weeks, here's the update:
I've bought the domain name Miniature-Mayhem.com. I'll be posting the entire game there fairly soon because I realize that a game that's about being cheap as hell needs to be free to download. We figured this was the best thing because, while it would be cool to get it professionally published, our conversations with those in the gaming industry are best paraphrased as "What kind of retarded company would make a game that didn't require people to spend money?" I paraphrase, but not much. So free and constantly-updating rules will be available online as well as advice/rants that will border on the super-geeky. Expect it soon.

On a similar topic, two weeks after I announced Miniature Mayhem, another webcomic started a plot line that has a bit in common with it.
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01212007.shtml
Well, not really but one reader forwarded this to me in the spirit of OMG HE MUST READ YOUR BLOG. While I know that's not true, it's fun to see other people reinforce the idea that a game that requires people to not spend money is a damn good idea. Miniature-Mayhem.com will be coming far too soon. Illustrated and very, very geeky.
-jared

Updates about Updates are totally useless...

Just a quick words as a few mostly useless things got added to the site.
1. There's now a welcome page where I poorly explain what the Hell Head Injury Theater is.
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/welcome.htm
2. There's now a tiny bit of text that links to an update page that tells you about something you'll never be able to figure out without going to the page in question.
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/updates.htm
3. To complete the "talking about myself" trilogy, I updated the "About Jared" page to include both good and FREAKING TERRIBLE things people have said about me over the past two years. I've been saving both the good and the bad, apparently.
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/jared.htm

The only quote that didn't make it on the page for the sake of decency was
"Getting Raped in Prison is funnier than Head Injury Theater." So funny and so very horrible.
-jared
"who is finished with the whole "talking about himself" thing, at least for a while.

Illustration Friday: He's got Radioactive Blood.

This week's IF theme was "Super Hero." While originally I decided to go off track (as usual) with a painting of yet another lame super villain (The Mole Man), the Marvel Zombies article came to mind and, well, here you go:

(Here's a link to the article, in case you just joined the cult in the past month or so: http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article68.htm)

And here's the Mole Man, since that was what I originally intended to post:

Taking a step back, all I can say is that it's weird to see my Ink Zombie stuff next to "cute". Not sure why.

-jared

"who wishes he didn't remember every thing he used to think was cool when he was eight"

America Online is Watching You...

It's a terrible thing when you have to explain your comic, but I'll just go that extra step and share my little paranoid conspiracy theory with you. Well, it' s not a conspiracy theory, but the whole Illuminati Eye-in-the-Pyramid logo has always bugged the crap out of me since the early 1990's...and I've never ran into another person who's noticed it. I mean really, why would you choose something that's OBVIOUSLY symbolic for an infamous secret society? I'm sure there are creepy people living in basements fleeing the AOL black helicopters, but now that I'm in Germany I think I'll be alright. Up until 2004, this was America Online's Logo:

And this is the symbol that meteorologists use to denote the eye of a hurricane:

So we've got a pyramid...with an eye in it.

Huh.

Yeah. Subtle.

-jared

(Again, don't take this too seriously...it's like my Darwin was a Monkey post. It's meant to be slightly informative and a little funny. But still true. Sort of. Talk to your local conspiracy friend that's slightly crazy. They'll fill you in on the details.)

Edit: Next week's article might go up early, just because I never really believe in having a buffer for site content. It's going to be about one of the weirder comic book crossovers out there (and actually maybe more than one). I can tell you what I won't be reviewing, despite the fact that someone sent a copy my way:

You'd think it'd be awesome, right? Turns out it takes place in the Future where the Terminator robots have bred a class of cyborgs with alien DNA so you never really get to see Predators fighting Terminators Fighting Aliens. Hell, you hardly get to see Predators fighting aliens. For the most part it's everyone fighting these stupid generic monsters that are Terminators with Alien genetic Nanites or something. So it's Aliens versus something gay versus Predators only sort of not because they've adopted Ripley from the Alien movies as one of their own and she does all the killing for them. Sort of. Bah. I hate when something that could have been awesome sucks me like a hurricane. (The expression "Sucks me like a hurricane" denotes negativity, just so we're clear. And not perverted.)

Slight Delay and Goofy Announcement...

Sorry for the delay guys. I decided to do an article on a very bad version of Phantom of the Opera and it mutated into an article on EVERY film version ever made (almost) of Phantom of the Opera. It should be up by tomorrow, I swear. When the Phantom of the Opera banner appears on the main page, you'll know it's up. I wanted to do something serious because I've been slacking on article since Halloween...and it got out of hand.

In the meantime, did you know that Head Injury Theater just celebrated it's 2nd or 3rd anniversary? 2 years of Art and 3 years of articles if you count the Angelfire.com days and ignore that weird update gap in the middle of 2004. Anniversaries always get me looking at the site statistics, something that you stop doing when you realize how much vanity is involved in that. Still, I was sort of shocked when I found out that we've had over 2 million unique visitors since January 2005. Seriously. Who are you people? Not that I have that many people regularly checking the site, but still....that's just stupid crazy and has to be wrong. What the hell, folks? How are you finding the site if I don't advertise it? It's the porn isn't it? It always comes down to porn. :sigh:

So later this month we're going to have Head Injury Theater Reloaded. Anything that's been popular is getting revamped...be it the Emo Emu, Zombie Jesus, Ritalin Love, The Pirate Who Likes the Booty...all that crap that's old as hell and really needs to be redone. The old days were productive as hell, but there's some definite shame lurking in that archives, I assure you. So here's my question: What on the site do you want to see redone? Anything?

(Include a link to it if you're serious. I'm flattered that people think I can remember the name of every painting I've ever posted...but it's not true. Like, at ALL.)

-jared

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UPDATE: As promised, a day later, here's an article for you. Enjoy.

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article70.htm

Miniature Mayhem and on Geek Pride

Man, have I been out of it the last month. Things have been busy but they've been busy in that "I don't have time for myself" kind of way that you just can't quite complain about because it's filled with social/fun stuff. So my apologies about the blog going to sleep and the site slowing down a little more than it should have around Christmas time. That said, I've been working on something crazy. A few friends out there helped me playtest it last Summer, but since then I've been refining the little bastard and having a blast. The downside is that I've created a monster.
Warning: Geek Rambling about to begin. Please ignore.

Premise: I hate miniature games. I hate them because they don't last long (friends outgrow them) and they're crazy expensive to really get into. Warhammer from Games Workshop isn't a game at all but a psychotic hobby with a cult following. Having to spend up to hundreds to have a decent amount of miniatures that are still uncut and unpainted is just a little bonkers to me. On the other end of the spectrum we have things like Mage Knight or HorrorClix...fun games and the pieces come painted but the scheme there is that you have to buy "booster packs" of random miniatures and hope you get something cool. Chances are you won't be satisfied and you'll have to go back and buy more. It's gamer gambling and eventually it'll make someone's head/wallet explode. It's never surprised me to find out that the champions of a lot of gaming conventions are elderly men with too much money or spoiled rich kids with far to indulging parents....according to most companies in the gaming industry, Fun = Money.
And yes, I know that's the way it usually works, but in the end gamers are left with piles of miniatures belonging to a game that no one plays or, even worse, simply miniatures from a version of the same game that's been updated to that they have to buy all-new miniatures to play (Warhammer 40k, I'm looking at you, you greedy knobs).
So I sat down to make a game that'd be hella cheap to play that was still fun. In came Miniature Mayhem. The game decks should be available by this summer...and my god is it addictive. The only problem with making a game that requires no miniatures is that it can backfire. In most games, you can only spend so much money before you own everything. When you can use ANYTHING to play a game, things can get....silly.

If you look closely you'll find pieces from about a dozen minituare games there as well as Candyland, Monopoly, a plastic tank from a hobby shop, Pokemon, Jar Jar Binks, some crappy toys that I got inside some kinder eggs and...well...lots of stuff. When you start getting hooked on a game that lets you play with ANYTHING you end up spending your random change on EVERYTHING. Ever since I started playing this thing I can't help but look for anything about the size of a chess piece that looks like it could kick your ass. It's a weird neurosis, but whatever.

Expect rules and more madness floating onto the site sooner than later.

-jared

(By the way, one of my major christmas presents was a huge pile of gaming miniatures from all types of things. So now I can have Pokemon monsters beat the bejesus out of SpongeBob Squarepants and his WW2 Tank Armada. God I love this game.)